Fill the Vacuum
Here’s a scenario: Someone is doing something process-wise that you don’t like and that you’d rather them not do. Do you (1) Say nothing and stay frustrated; (2) Tell that person to do it differently; or (3) Have a conversation with that person to determine if your perception matches hers and then understand why that may or may not be the case?
Here’s another: You receive a note informing you that you are a finalist to be awarded a really desirable project but that you will need to submit an amended proposal in order to be considered. Do you (1) Immediately get to work amending the proposal and send it along when you are finished; or (2) Immediately respond to the note by saying you are excited to get to work amending the proposal and will send it along when you are finished?
While these are different scenarios (one negative and the other positive), the correct answer in each case is to do the thing that removes the most ambiguity. That’s because nature abhors a vacuum and if you intentionally or unintentionally create an information vacuum, it will get filled by the other side with theories that may not be flattering or beneficial (also, recognition is better than a vacuum).
For example, if you find yourself in the second scenario and receive that note and don’t immediately respond acknowledging receipt, the sender might think the longer you delay:
You’re not excited about the project.
You’re angry that you’ve been asked to amend your proposal.
You don’t care about the customer.
You’re disorganized.
You’re unreliable.
You have a problem.
And your potential customer may go through that progression all the while you are at work gleefully revising your proposal. But then by the time you send it back in, the customer may already have chosen another vendor and/or, worse, made up their mind about you.
As for the the first scenario, if you do anything but option 3, either you or your coworker will reason through the following progression with regards to the other:
You don’t know what you’re doing.
You’re difficult to work with.
You don’t get it.
You don’t care.
This isn’t working out.
And good luck salvaging a professional (any?) relationship if it gets to stage 5.
The point is that if someone doesn’t know exactly where they stand, they will likely assume that their standing is worse, not better, and because of you, not them. So close loops, get issues out onto the table, say “you’re welcome,” and do whatever else you can to put the kibosh on ambiguity to prevent information vacuums.
Or else it will suck (that’s also a vacuum joke).
– Tim
