My name lives in infamy in these little posts for some of the, admittedly, dumber things I’ve said or done. Today I begin to exact my revenge. By now, you’ve probably gotten the sense that our office is a pretty fun place to be. Well, back in 2024, I started writing down some of the insane and hilarious stuff my coworkers said that made me laugh. Today, I wanted to share a few of them. Partially to clear my name (or drag everyone else down with me?), partially because I think it’d be a shame for some of these quotes not to see the light of day.
To begin, here are a few great, mostly unintentional reads:
Tim, in reference to Sarah G-W’s drawings and dots that accompany Unqualified Opinions, “I don’t want anyone to think I’m illustrating these.”
Emily: “Nobody thinks that.”
Intern Sam to Tim at lunch one day, completely unprovoked: “So do you think you’re the most successful playwriting major ever?”
*Tim would like it footnoted that Sam meant successful monetarily, not successful in terms of actually writing plays*
Danny on a call with an undisclosed investment banker: “Hey, how’s your day been?”
Said investment banker: “Constant.”
*we sat in complete silence for 15 seconds after this*
“I don’t understand people’s ability to not be embarrassed.” - Emily
On the actual work we do around here:
“As with most spreadsheets created by other people, I don’t know what’s going on here.” - Tim
"This CIM is such a disaster that it's probably worth getting on the phone to understand what’s going on here. For example, why is 2024 gross profit higher than sales?" - Tim, in response to a CIM I sent around to the investing team
Quotes that simply couldn’t be categorized:
“Big jong energy.” - Brent, on learning Mahjong
“This is going to be a soul wrenching death march to the finish.” - Taylor
“Compared to medieval times, 30-year mortgage rates are really low.” - Tim, a few weeks ago, when mortgage rates hit 7.28%
And lastly, because I’ve forced everyone around here to give more positive feedback and be really nice to me:
“We miss you and are excited to have you back in the office.” - Tim to me, after I asked specifically if everyone missed me while I was out of office
So these are the people I work with! Compared to medieval times, they’re really not that bad. I’m pretty fond of them, actually.
Consider my name cleared!
– Holly
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